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Quotations I love: Disenfranchised grief

Lynne Baab • Thursday April 1 2021

Last week I had a delightful conversation with a retired minister. We talked about patterns of aging, and she mentioned something she has observed. As people get older, they experience fear and anxiety about what’s happening to them. Then they default into the patterns that have helped them cope with anxiety in the past. She sees increased attempts to control as a primary coping strategy. I also see denial, forced optimism, alcohol, etc.

As she was talking, I remembered an article I recently read about disenfranchised grief, forms of grief that aren’t validated by the people around us or that we don’t...

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Quotations I love: No matter what happens . . .

Lynne Baab • Wednesday March 24 2021

“No matter what happens to me, that happened to me.” —Brian Doyle [1]

A man is diagnosed with advanced cancer. The oncologist holds out some hope, so the man undergoes chemotherapy. As the man experiences the brutal side effects of the chemo, his grown son steps into the role of caregiver. The man finds himself deeply moved by the gentleness and kindness of his son. As the man thinks about his likely death, he juxtaposes those thoughts with the love his son has shown him, and he tries to hold onto that love in the face of his fear...

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Quotations I love: The answer is in a story

Lynne Baab • Wednesday March 17 2021

“The answer is in a story and the story is being told.” —Pádraig Ó Tuama, poet, theologian, mediator, and leader of the Corrymeela Community in Northern Ireland [1]

There are a handful of people in my life who really bug me. I’ve heard that when people irritate you or make you mad, you should look at your own life to see if something you don’t like in yourself is being revealed. I’ve done that. I’ve talked about my relationships with these individuals in spiritual direction and therapy, and I have gotten some insight, but not very much.

Year after year, these relationships continue to be...

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Quotations I love: Thomas Merton on the present moment

Lynne Baab • Wednesday March 10 2021

“You do not need to know precisely what is happening or exactly where it is going. What you need is to recognize the possibilities and challenges offered by the present moment, and to embrace them with courage, faith and hope.” —Thomas Merton

I’m doing something different today. Instead of expressing my longing that is revealed by the quotation I’m highlighting, I want to express my admiration. So many of you are doing exactly what Thomas Merton recommends. The pandemic has created one challenge after another, and I hear from family members, old friends, and blog readers just...

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