Lynne Baab • Saturday November 9 2019
I have two sons, and I breast-fed both of them. When my older son was 9 months old, the irritations of nursing were growing, so I weaned him. Afterward, I missed nursing so much. I decided with my second son that I would let him nurse much longer. He got bored with it when he was slightly over two and stopped on his own.
In that second year of nursing, my son was able to toddle over to me, climb on my lap, and ask to nurse. After he stopped nursing, he continued to climb into my lap. I felt a difference in him when he sat on my lap before and after weaning.
Before weaning, there was always the possibility of feeding. As my son’s mother, I was a source of comfort to him in myself, to be sure, but that comfort was always connected on some level to me as a source of food. Once he was weaned, the level of contentment in just being with me was different. He had no goal except my presence.
I would not understand Psalm 131 the way I do today without that experience of nursing a child into toddlerhood. Take a look at this short psalm, only three verses.
O Lord, my heart is not lifted up,
my eyes are not raised too high;
I do not occupy myself with things
too great and too marvelous for me.
But I have calmed and quieted my soul,
like a weaned child with its mother;
my soul is like the weaned child that is with me.
O Israel, hope in the Lord
from this time on and forevermore.
—Psalm 131
I wrote last week about a quotation I discovered that affirms that mature human beings are called to hold grief and gratitude in two hands. For most of 2019, I have been grieving a variety of things, as well as experiencing deep thankfulness for a whole variety of other things and for God’s presence and help with the hard things.
I’ve experienced an inner dialog about grief and thankfulness. I argue with myself that if I’m feeling so sad, I shouldn’t also have so many moments of gratitude and even happiness. And if I’m feeling grateful for so many things, I shouldn’t be so sad other times.
I have realized I engage in continual monitoring and judgment of my thoughts and feelings. I am seeing more clearly the ways this damages my life. In my present challenge of learning to hold grief and gratitude in two hands, my inner self-critical dialogue reduces my ability to rest in God as I experience both of them.
The weaned girl child sitting on her mother's lap is simply present there, not occupying herself “with things too great and too marvelous for me” (Psalm 131:1). She’s not criticizing anything she sees or anything she finds in her own thoughts and feelings. She doesn’t need anything from her mother other than presence and comfort.
I want to grow in being that weaned child in God’s arms. I want to experience grief and gratitude in company with Jesus without judging what I'm thinking and feeling. I want to peacefully enjoy God's presence and leave all judgment in God’s hands.
Next week: another scripture that is helping me in my journey of embracing grief AND gratitude. Illustration by Dave Baab: his sister Connie with her granddaughter.
My book on this topic – Two Hands: Grief and Gratitude in the Christian Life, now available as an audiobook as well as paperback and kindle.
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Lynne M. Baab, Ph.D., is an author and adjunct professor. She has written numerous books, Bible study guides, and articles for magazines and journals. Lynne is passionate about prayer and other ways to draw near to God, and her writing conveys encouragement for readers to be their authentic selves before God. She encourages experimentation and lightness in Christians spiritual practices. Read more »
Lynne is pleased to announce the release of her two 2024 books, both of them illustrated with her talented husband Dave's watercolors. She is thrilled at how good the watercolors look in the printed books, and in the kindle versions, if read on a phone, the watercolors glow. Friendship, Listening and Empathy: A Prayer Guide guides the reader into new ways to pray about the topics in the title. Draw Near: A Lenten Devotional guides the reader to a psalm for each day of Lent and offers insightful reflection/discussion questions that can be used alone or in groups.
Another recent book is Two Hands: Grief and Gratitude in the Christian Life, available in paperback, audiobook, and for kindle. Lynne's 2018 book is Nurturing Hope: Christian Pastoral Care for the Twenty-First Century, and her most popular book is Sabbath-Keeping: Finding Freedom in the Rhythms of Rest (now available as an audiobook as well as paperback and kindle). You can see her many other book titles here, along with her Bible study guides.
You can listen to Lynne talk about these topics: empathy, bringing spiritual practices to life. Sabbath keeping for recent grads., and Sabbath keeping for families and children.
Lynne was interviewed for the podcast "As the Crow Flies". The first episode focuses on why listening matters and the second one on listening skills.
Here are two talks Lynne gave on listening (recorded in audio form on YouTube): Listening for Mission and Ministry and Why Listening Matters for Mission and Ministry.
"Lynne's writing is beautiful. Her tone has such a note of hope and excitement about growth. It is gentle and affirming."
— a reader
"Dear Dr. Baab, You changed my life. It is only through God’s gift of the sabbath that I feel in my heart and soul that God loves me apart from anything I do."
— a reader of Sabbath Keeping
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