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Friendship, loneliness, and prayer: Praying for empathy . . . and sympathy?

Lynne Baab • Thursday February 1 2024

When I first learned about the difference between empathy and sympathy, here’s what I absorbed from explanations of both words: Empathy is feeling sad (or happy, angry, or some other emotion) when you tell me about something that made you feel that emotion. Sympathy is seeing your sadness and acknowledging it, perhaps by saying something like, “That’s too bad.” With empathy, we feel some degree of the other person’s emotions. With sympathy, we can see the other person’s emotions and acknowledge them, without necessarily feeling them ourselves.

The tone of voice makes a big difference with the words, “That’s too bad.” A...

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My new spiritual practice: Feeling the feelings

Lynne Baab • Wednesday May 10 2017

When I’m stressed about something, my feelings get buried under my thoughts. Some of those thoughts center around questions about the future: “What if this happens? What if that happens?” Other thoughts are about the feelings: “You shouldn’t be feeling these negative feelings. You should be trusting God.”

I wrote last week about advice from my therapist about separating thoughts from feelings. Some months ago he suggested that I practice self-compassion as a way to cope with negative feelings, and I’ve had a wonderful year learning more about what self-compassion looks like and why God would desire it for me.

The form of...

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Jesus’ presence in pain

Lynne Baab • Wednesday December 31 2014

In December three years ago, on a sunny afternoon, I got out my bicycle for a ride. As I pushed off with my left foot, I felt something snap or pop in my left knee. I rode a couple hundred yards slowly, checking to see if I needed to stop riding.

Yes, I definitely needed to stop.

I got home, put ice on my knee and elevated it. I’m not able to take most painkillers, so ice has become my friend. At first my whole knee hurt, but as I iced it off and on the rest of the afternoon and evening, the...

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What is compassion like when you haven't experienced what the other person is experiencing?

Lynne Baab • Thursday October 23 2014

A friend of mine, who I’ll call Jane, had a rough year. Just over a year ago she was diagnosed with breast cancer, and the past 12 months were filled from beginning to end with surgery, chemo and radiation. She felt horrible most of the year, the degree of horribleness rising and falling with the treatments, but week in and week out she was dealing with very low energy and discouragement.

I felt a lot of compassion for her and was able to give her fairly consistent support because I know what it’s like to feel awful for long periods of time....

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