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Friendship, loneliness, and prayer: Reflecting on the series

Lynne Baab • Wednesday March 27 2024

Empathy is complicated. People often experience shame when they feel lonely. I am not the only person who defaults to advice-giving when trying to listen carefully. The pandemic left us with “learned loneliness.” Hugs are problematic for some people, so we need to ask permission. These are some of the ideas I have written about in the past six months that readers have resonated with and commented on.

Just over six months ago, I began this series. I was motivated to write about friendship and loneliness because of press coverage of post-covid loneliness. Public health researchers hypothesize that many people lost natural...

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Friendship, loneliness, and prayer: Everyday initiative

Lynne Baab • Tuesday March 12 2024

Two months ago, I wrote a blog post called “Everyday Initiative,” but I just couldn’t bring myself to put it on this blog. Last week, I wrote a different post focused on the same topic. I spent all weekend thinking I should write something else. Last night, I figured out why those posts bothered me so much. I don’t want to burden people for whom initiative is difficult.

In interviews about friendship, many people have talked with me about the challenge of initiative for them. They want to initiate more. Their lack of initiative has negative consequences for them—loneliness and feelings of...

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Friendship, loneliness, and prayer: When thanks aren’t enough

Lynne Baab • Thursday January 18 2024

“Thanks for a delicious meal.” “Thanks for doing that favor for me.” “I’m grateful for your help with the project at church.”

“Thanks for changing my life.”

We use “thanks” or “I’m grateful” in response to specific actions and also to convey gratitude for huge, life-transforming support and encouragement. These things don’t seem equivalent. Knowing how to convey our gratitude for big, significant gifts is challenging. We don’t have a word that conveys really, really big thanks.

We sometimes say, “I could never thank you enough.” I feel that way when I think of certain friends who have given me far, far more than...

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Friendship, loneliness, and prayer: Praying to give affection extravagantly

Lynne Baab • Tuesday January 2 2024

Talk not of wasted affection; affection never was wasted. If it enrich not the heart of another, its waters returning Back to their springs, like the rain shall fill them full of refreshment; That which the fountain sends forth returns again to the fountain. —Henry Wadsworth Longfellow (1807-1882)

Have you ever given a small gift to a friend or family member, they thank you at the time, but then you never see or hear anything about the gift again? “What a waste,” you might think. Have you ever sent someone an email or text message to say you’re thinking about them, and you get no reply?...

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