Almost Peaceful: My Journey of Healing from Binge EatingFriendship, Listening, and Empathy: A Prayer GuideDraw Near: A Lenten Devotional Two Hands: Grief and Gratitude in the Christian LifeSabbath Keeping: Finding Freedom in the Rhythms of Rest Fasting: Spiritual Freedom Beyond our AppetitesA Renewed SpiritualityNurturing Hope: Christian Pastoral Care in the Twenty-First CenturyThe Power of ListeningJoy Together: Spiritual Practices for Your CongregationPrayers of the New TestamentPrayers of the Old TestamentPersonality Type in CongregationsSabbathA Garden of Living Water: Stories of Self-Discovery and Spiritual GrowthDead Sea: A NovelDeadly Murmurs: A NovelDeath in Dunedin: A NovelBeating Burnout in CongregationsReaching Out in a Networked WorldEmbracing MidlifeFriendingAdvent Devotional

Forgiveness on the journey

Lynne Baab • Wednesday December 10 2025

Forgiveness on the journey

In Christ, we are forgiven. We are called to forgive others. In Jesus’s lesson on prayer for his disciples, he gave us these words to pray: “Forgive us our sins, as we have forgiven those who have sinned against us.” All of the various translations of Matthew 6:12 indicate that forgiving others is a normative part of following Jesus.

Praise God for those moments when forgiveness comes automatically and easily. For me, forgiveness has often been a journey. I want to describe three movements in my understanding of forgiveness.

1. A command that I simply couldn’t do. As I described in my recent book, I experienced a lot of anger at my mother over many years. As I discussed my anger with Christian friends and mentors at various times, they often said that I needed to forgive Mom. “This is something you must do right now,” they seemed to be saying to me. “Just do it. God commands it, Jesus made it possible, and if you have trouble doing it, the Holy Spirit will help you if you ask for help.”

Right. . . . But how? These clear and forceful instructions didn’t seem to change my heart at all. For decades, I prayed and prayed that God would help me forgive Mom, but the anger didn’t go away.

2. A command that I’ve already done.  Two years ago, I experienced the great gift of a course for survivors of abuse. I had never viewed Mom’s behavior toward me as abusive, but I came out of the course realizing that in one specific area — control of food — Mom had been abusive. The textbooks we used [1] and the instructors of the course defined forgiveness as letting go of the desire for vengeance on the person who harmed us. Using that definition, I didn’t need to forgive Mom. I had never desired harm for Mom in any way. I didn’t want vengeance, I just wanted not to be so angry!

I came to realize that my anger was a mask for sadness, and sadness does not need to be forgiven.

3. An ongoing process.  I am now realizing there is more to this journey. I recently heard a wonderful interview with Samuel Wells, vicar of the church in London that is right beside Trafalgar Square. He quotes Lucy Winkett, rector of the Anglican Church closest to him:

“Forgiveness is losing the desire to have had a better past.” 

Oh my goodness. What a challenge! “Losing the desire” implies a process, which my life attests to. While I am experiencing much less anger at Mom these days and more peace in my relationship with food, I still have many moments when I wish my past had been different in the area of food.  

Advent is traditionally a season of self-examination, as we ponder why Jesus had to come to earth and why we look forward to his second coming. I have desperately needed Jesus’s presence with me and the Holy Spirit’s power inside me to help me cope with anger and sadness. Thank you, Jesus, for being born in that humble manger among the animals you created and loved. If Jesus hadn’t come to earth, we wouldn’t have the Holy Spirit with us today, guiding and strengthening us, giving us Jesus’s peace that passes all understanding. Thank you, Holy Spirit, for bringing healing to us as we walk, step by step, trying to be faithful, on this challenging and beautiful journey.

I long for Jesus’s second coming, where all will be made right. God will totally and completely wash away my longing — and yours — for a different past. My body — and yours — will be fully redeemed. We will be made whole. No more tears and sadness. No more regrets.

Come, beloved and beautiful Jesus, and bring us your full, complete healing. Open our eyes to the ways you are already healing us, and continue that process, we pray. Help us let go of our desire for vengeance on people who have harmed us. Help us release our wishes for a different past. Help us walk with you, our generous, accepting, and loving Savior.  

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Next week: Our bodies on the journey. Illustration by Dave Baab.

Some ideas for Christmas gifts:

Almost Peaceful: My Journey of Healing from Binge Eating describes the journey I have mentioned in this post. You might want to buy it for friends who have experienced disordered eating or who have friends or family members they want to support who struggle with it

Two Hands: Grief and Gratitude in the Christian Life, for friends or family members who are going crazy in these challenging times

Draw Near: A Lenten Devotional, with a few reflection questions on a psalm for each day of Lent, plus one of Dave Baab’s beautiful watercolors for each day

Sabbath Keeping, my most popular book

My two Bible study guides on prayers in the Bible: Prayers of the Old Testament and Prayers of the New Testament

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[1] Steven R. Tracy, Mending the Soul: Understanding and Healing Abuse (Zondervan, 2008; there's a new 2023 edition) and Celestia G. Tracy, Mending the Soul Workbook for Men and Women (Zondervan, 2009).



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