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Sabbath Keeping a decade later: relationships

Wednesday May 4 2016

Sabbath Keeping a decade later: relationships

A few weeks ago a student sat in my office telling me about a research essay he’s writing about the Sabbath in Hebrews 3 and 4. He said, “The Sabbath is a day of relationship.” Later in the conversation he repeated that idea with some additional emphasis: “Give God your body and your time on a special relationship day.”

I want to do some reflection on the Sabbath as a “special relationship day.” It might be easiest to view “relationship” here as related to time with people. And for many people I’ve interviewed, slowing down for one day a week makes for a different kind of space with children and family members. But I also want to expand “relationship” to include more than time with people. Otherwise, how could a single person whose family members are far away keep a Sabbath? What about a widow or widower whose partner for many years of Sabbath observance isn’t there any longer?

So here’s my proposal: The Sabbath is a special relationship day, and the relationships we experience on the Sabbath might include connections with people, with the Creation, and with God. Let me give some examples:

A minister told me that on the Sabbath he tries to enjoy his children rather than shape them. He knows that the primary job of a parent is to help children grow up into responsible loving adults, so for six days a week, he pays attention to the ways he needs to encourage growth in his children. On the Sabbath he simply enjoys them just as they are. This makes the day a special day in his relationship with his children, a day of joy and relaxation.

That same man told me that he tries on the Sabbath to relieve his wife from as many household tasks as he can. She does the bulk of them on the weekdays because he works more hours than she does, but on the Sabbath he tries to keep up with the dishes and tidy up the kitchen so she can have a break. He is nurturing a relationship, but not in the ways we might normally expect.

A single man in his 30s who is able to take a mid-week Sabbath told me he loves to get up and read for a while, then go for a long run, and in the evening meet up with a friend or group of friends for dinner. The bulk of his Sabbath involves being alone, something he finds very valuable because of his people-intensive job. On his Sabbath he nurtures his relationship with God through reading, with the Creation through running and with people through his dinner.

A single woman in her 40s told me about her Saturday Sabbaths. She works in a very demanding and fast-paced job, and her Sundays are taken up with church and extended family gatherings. She has decided Saturday will be her Sabbath so she can be alone with God. She relishes her alone time and the sense of companionship with God she experiences.

We need a broad understanding of what “relationships” on the Sabbath consist of. Three weeks ago I wrote about the man who goes to the gym on the Sabbath because he feels it connects him with his body as a creation of God, and thus with the whole big Creation. Countless people have told me over the years about their love of walking, biking, hiking, and simply sitting outdoors on the Sabbath. Beaches, mountains, and gardens (public and private) feature widely in these stories. If we’re going to call the Sabbath special day of relationships, we have to include our relationship with Creation – and with the Creator – in our understanding of “relationships.”

And we have to include other activities that nurture our relationship with God. Many people keep a Sunday Sabbath, and public worship is an anchor for the day for them. Others have talked to me about enjoying personal Bible study and reading Christian books on the Sabbath. My husband and I have a long prayer time together as a part of our Sabbath. All of this is good, but crossing over into a functional, productive pattern for Sabbath days is always a danger. When relating to God feels like work (not necessarily a bad thing on the six work days of the week), save that activity for another day.

(Next week: what I do on my Sabbath, the single question I am asked most often about this topic. Watercolor of Kaptit Island by Dave Baab. If you’d like to receive an email when I post on this blog, sign up under “Subscribe” in the right hand column. Note that the title of this blog post refers to my book, Sabbath Keeping, which came out in 2005, a bit more than a decade ago. It has been and continues to be my best selling book.)

Resources I’ve written about the Sabbath

Articles:
A day without a “do” list
The gift of rest
Sabbath Keeping—it’s okay to start small
The gift of the Sabbath
Stopping: the gift of the Sabbath
Gifts of freedom: the Sabbath and fasting

Blog posts:
Of clouds and attentiveness
Grace gifts versus guilt-inducing obligations
Sabbath Keeping a decade later: What to do on the Sabbath
Sabbath Keeping a decade later: Gardening 

Sabbath Keeping a decade later: Stopping 

My Bible study guide, Sabbath: The Gift of Rest



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