Lynne Baab • Friday June 19 2020
I became a committed Christian when I was nineteen and a half. Right before my twenty-second birthday, I attended the “Mark 2 Bible study dig-in,” offered at Inter-Varsity Christian Fellowship summer camps. “Mark 1” allowed students to focus for five full days on the first half of the Gospel of Mark, and I had participated in that seminar the summer before. “Mark 2” enabled students to look at the second half of Mark for five days. That summer camp, held in the beautiful Santa Cruz mountains of California, forever merged in my mind the Gospel of Mark with stately live oak and fragrant eucalyptus trees, gorgeous hills stacked up into the distance, and clear blue skies.
From study of the second half of Mark a few weeks before my 22nd birthday, one verse jumped out: “I believe, help my unbelief.” Jesus and his three closest disciples are on their way down the mountain where Jesus was transfigured. They come to the other disciples and a big crowd. A man approaches Jesus in desperation about his son who has powerful seizures. The disciples have not been able to heal him, and the man uses the phrase “if you are able” when he asks Jesus to perform the healing. Jesus tells the man, “All things can be done for the one who believes” (Mark 9:23). The man responds, “I believe, help my unbelief” (verse 24).
At almost twenty-two, having been a Christian for only two and a half years, I indentified strongly with the man. I knew I believed in God and in Jesus’ power to heal, guide, empower, and care for me. But my belief felt so small at times. “I believe, help my unbelief” became a key prayer for me, and I looked forward to the day – maybe in a few years or a decade or two – when I would no longer need to pray that prayer.
Well, here I am, right before a birthday forty-some years later, still praying “I believe, help my unbelief.”I never outgrew that prayer as I had expected to. Accepting that I live with both belief and unbelief – and acknowledging it openly to God, asking for God’s help to grow in faith – unleashes creativity in me because I embrace my unfinished, imperfect, still growing self. In order to create anything, we have to be willing to be imperfect, even to fail.
I mentioned last week the strong atmosphere of perfectionism I grew up in. I know I brought that perfectionism into my faith. A boy had seizures, his father brought him to Jesus’ disciples then to Jesus, and the father breathed a prayer that lifted my need to be perfect. The Creator of those gorgeous live oaks and eucalyptus trees, greenish gray against the blue California sky, used the Gospel of Mark to empower me to step aside for a moment from the perfectionism I had grown up with and embraced too enthusiastically.
Our wonderful Creator God, who calls us to creativity, has given me periods of freedom from perfectionism throughout my life. That freedom have fueled the lightness and joy of the creative process. Obviously, for me writing is a major creative outlet, but I also feel moments of creativity in so many other settings, such as planning the outline for a class, figuring out what to cook for dinner, and choosing a pot for a houseplant so the shape and color of the pot will complement the plant.
The prayer, “I believe, help my unbelief,” takes away the need to do everything right the first time. It helps us rely on God for our most basic need – faith – so we can learn to relax and bring creativity into so many components of daily life.
Loving God, we believe you when you tell us you love us and have called us according to your purpose. Lord Jesus Christ, send your Holy Spirit into our hearts to help us in our moments of unbelief. Amen.
(Next week: Hidden art. Illustration by Dave Baab: eucalyptus trees. I love getting new subscribers. Sign up below to get an email when I post on this blog.)
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Lynne M. Baab, Ph.D., is an author and adjunct professor. She has written numerous books, Bible study guides, and articles for magazines and journals. Lynne is passionate about prayer and other ways to draw near to God, and her writing conveys encouragement for readers to be their authentic selves before God. She encourages experimentation and lightness in Christians spiritual practices. Read more »
Lynne is pleased to announce the release of her two 2024 books, both of them illustrated with her talented husband Dave's watercolors. She is thrilled at how good the watercolors look in the printed books, and in the kindle versions, if read on a phone, the watercolors glow. Friendship, Listening and Empathy: A Prayer Guide guides the reader into new ways to pray about the topics in the title. Draw Near: A Lenten Devotional guides the reader to a psalm for each day of Lent and offers insightful reflection/discussion questions that can be used alone or in groups.
Another recent book is Two Hands: Grief and Gratitude in the Christian Life, available in paperback, audiobook, and for kindle. Lynne's 2018 book is Nurturing Hope: Christian Pastoral Care for the Twenty-First Century, and her most popular book is Sabbath-Keeping: Finding Freedom in the Rhythms of Rest (now available as an audiobook as well as paperback and kindle). You can see her many other book titles here, along with her Bible study guides.
You can listen to Lynne talk about these topics: empathy, bringing spiritual practices to life. Sabbath keeping for recent grads., and Sabbath keeping for families and children.
Lynne was interviewed for the podcast "As the Crow Flies". The first episode focuses on why listening matters and the second one on listening skills.
Here are two talks Lynne gave on listening (recorded in audio form on YouTube): Listening for Mission and Ministry and Why Listening Matters for Mission and Ministry.
"Lynne's writing is beautiful. Her tone has such a note of hope and excitement about growth. It is gentle and affirming."
— a reader
"Dear Dr. Baab, You changed my life. It is only through God’s gift of the sabbath that I feel in my heart and soul that God loves me apart from anything I do."
— a reader of Sabbath Keeping
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