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Friendship, loneliness and prayer: A listening skill with two purposes

Lynne Baab • Tuesday October 3 2023

Imagine that a friend is telling me about a funeral she attended. I’m watching her body language, and I say, “You look really sad.” She continues by describing how much the person meant to her. Then she outlines the whole funeral service in detail, including the postlude, a Bach organ piece in a minor key that spoke to her in her sadness. I am getting pretty bored with all the funeral details, so I pick up on the one thing she said that interests me. I love Bach, especially on an organ, so I’m hoping she’ll give some more details about...

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Friendship, loneliness, and prayer: Praying about “learned loneliness”

Lynne Baab • Tuesday September 26 2023

“The most salient social feature of the pandemic was how it forced people into isolation; for those fortunate enough not to lose a loved one, the major trauma it created was loneliness. Instead of coming together, emerging evidence suggests that we are in the midst of a long-term crisis of habitual loneliness, in which relationships were severed and never reestablished.” —Arthur C. Brooks, “How We Learned to be Lonely,” The Atlantic, January 5, 2023

Arthur Brooks is a Harvard professor who teaches a popular class about happiness, drawing on sociological and psychological research. He believes that for many of us, the pandemic taught...

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Friendship, loneliness, and prayer: A “small” listening skill

Lynne Baab • Wednesday September 20 2023

Imagine a scene where you are talking to someone you don’t know well. Perhaps it’s coffee hour at church, a neighborhood event, or a work or school setting. You’ve never had an extended one-on-one conversation with this person before, but in this moment, no one interrupts you, and you find yourself talking at length. They listen so well that you find yourself talking about something you’re upset about. As the conversation draws to a close, you realize that some of the burden of frustration has been lifted. You feel heard by someone who understands.

How does your companion indicate that they are...

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First post in a new series: Friendship, loneliness, and prayer

Lynne Baab • Tuesday September 12 2023

A dozen years ago, Josh had three good friends. Josh had recently retired, and he was happy with the friendship rhythm in his new pattern of life. One of his friends arranged a tennis foursome most Friday afternoons. After playing tennis, the four men drank tea or beer and chatted for an hour. Another friend was a walker. He and Josh took a long walk two or three times a month and prayed together afterward. Josh's third friend was an amazing listener. His job involved long drives to do fairly brief tasks on the other end, and sometimes he invited Josh...

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