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Friendship, loneliness, and prayer: Praying for empathy . . . and sympathy?

Lynne Baab • Thursday February 1 2024

When I first learned about the difference between empathy and sympathy, here’s what I absorbed from explanations of both words: Empathy is feeling sad (or happy, angry, or some other emotion) when you tell me about something that made you feel that emotion. Sympathy is seeing your sadness and acknowledging it, perhaps by saying something like, “That’s too bad.” With empathy, we feel some degree of the other person’s emotions. With sympathy, we can see the other person’s emotions and acknowledge them, without necessarily feeling them ourselves.

The tone of voice makes a big difference with the words, “That’s too bad.” A...

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Friendship, loneliness, and prayer: Praying for our mirror neurons (and empathy)

Lynne Baab • Wednesday January 24 2024

In the 1980s, neurophysiologists began putting electrodes in the brains of macaque monkeys, and in the early 90s they discovered a new kind of neuron that they named “mirror neuron.” These neurons fired when the monkeys did a certain action, and they also fired when the monkeys saw someone else do the same action. Humans have mirror neurons, too, and later research revealed that about 10-20% of the neurons in human brains have mirror properties. In addition to mirroring other people’s actions, neurologists hypothesize that mirror neurons enable us to feel sad or happy when we see another person feeling sad...

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Friendship, loneliness, and prayer: When thanks aren’t enough

Lynne Baab • Thursday January 18 2024

“Thanks for a delicious meal.” “Thanks for doing that favor for me.” “I’m grateful for your help with the project at church.”

“Thanks for changing my life.”

We use “thanks” or “I’m grateful” in response to specific actions and also to convey gratitude for huge, life-transforming support and encouragement. These things don’t seem equivalent. Knowing how to convey our gratitude for big, significant gifts is challenging. We don’t have a word that conveys really, really big thanks.

We sometimes say, “I could never thank you enough.” I feel that way when I think of certain friends who have given me far, far more than...

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Friendship, loneliness, and prayer: Praying for “holy listening”

Lynne Baab • Tuesday January 9 2024

Lutheran Bishop Craig Satterlee uses the term “holy listening” to describe the kind of listening that seeks to discern “the presence and activity of God in the joys, struggles, and hopes of the ordinary activities of congregational life, as well as the uncertainty and opportunity of change and transition.” [1]

Bishop Satterlee is referring to congregational life, but listening in any setting can be holy when we hope and expect to encounter God. Bishop Satterlee believes holy listening is indispensable because it builds intimacy and helps people connect with each other in a way that goes beyond the superficial, resulting in powerful...

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