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Friendship, loneliness, and prayer: Types of reflecting, a listening skill

Lynne Baab • Tuesday October 31 2023

The listening skill reflection or reflecting can range from simple to complex. I want to open this post with a story about the most challenging form of reflecting, drawing implications:

When we moved to New Zealand in 2007, we rented out our Seattle house. We put a lock on the door of the family room in the basement and stored our furniture and my hundreds of books there. After two years, our tenants wanted to buy the house, and the timing felt right. So we returned to Seattle and had a giant sale of most of the stuff in that family room,...

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Friendship, loneliness, and prayer: Lessons from two periods of loneliness

Lynne Baab • Wednesday October 25 2023

Twice I have experienced extended periods of loneliness. Both times I learned something important.

The first period was in high school (tenth through twelfth grade in those days). We had moved 11 times in my first 15 years because my dad was in the military, and I attended five schools between kindergarten and ninth grade. I learned to make friends easily among the girls in my various neighborhoods and classes. When we moved from Virginia to Washington State, and I started high school, I decided to try an experiment. I decided to act like I’d been a popular girl in junior high....

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Friendship, loneliness, and prayer: One more way reflecting helps us

Lynne Baab • Tuesday October 17 2023

Two weeks ago, I opened a post with a story about a friend who was telling me about the funeral she attended. I asked you to imagine that I was watching her body language. Because she was drooping a bit and had a sad expression on her face, I imagined that I said to her, “You look really sad.” That’s a form of reflecting or reflection, a listening skill where we make a brief statement about what we’re observing in the person’s body language, tone of voice, or words. I said that my words were an invitation for her to talk...

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Friendship, loneliness, and prayer: Saying “thank you” to friends

Lynne Baab • Tuesday October 10 2023

I learned about polite, dutiful gratitude in childhood, and I’m grateful for those lessons. David Steindl-Rast, a Benedictine monk, taught me something new about expressing thanks in his book, Gratefulness: The Heart of Prayer. Brother Steindl-Rast emphasizes the relational component of thankfulness: “When I acknowledge a gift received, I acknowledge a bond that binds me to the giver. . . . The one who says ‘thank you’ to another really says, ‘We belong together.’ Giver and thanksgiver belong together” (pages 15-17).

A simple “thank you” tells the other person that I value what they have contributed to my life. I value my...

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