The Gift of Rest
Published in "Today's Christian Woman," September
2005
By Lynne M. Baab
“I’d like to observe the
sabbath in our family,” the young woman said. “I’ve
been reading books about it, talking with my husband and kids,
and we’re going to start soon.”
“Great,” I replied. “Tell me about what you
plan to do and not do on your sabbath.”
She said, “I love the idea of starting on Saturday at sunset
with a festive meal. I’d like to have special food, blessings
for the children, prayers and candles, like Jewish people do.
Maybe we could sing some songs. Then the next day, after we go
to church, I hope we can read some Bible stories, do some crafts,
really help the kids to center the day around God.”
“What do you plan to stop doing on the sabbath?” I
asked.
She looked at me blankly. Stopping, slowing down, had not figured
into her consideration of the sabbath day. She was focused solely
on adding new activities.
My Own Story
My husband and I lived in Tel Aviv, Israel, for 18 months more than 20 years
ago. We were forced to observe a sabbath each week because everything stopped
in our neighborhood from sunset on Friday to sunset on Saturday. Stores,
movie theaters, and restaurants were simply not open. We didn’t have
a car, so it really made a difference that the busses stopped running for
those 24 hours. At first we had a hard time finding things to do on Friday
evenings and Saturdays, but after a few months, we found ourselves enjoying
a day with few options for entertainment.
We read, we walked, we talked. My husband sometimes went bird
watching in the field near our apartment. I wrote long letters.
Sometimes we prayed together in a leisurely fashion. We napped.
We simply slowed down. We rested in God’s love and experienced
God’s grace.
Our sabbaths in Israel felt like a gift from God, and when we
returned to the U.S. we wanted to keep on receiving that gift.
The sabbath had brought us an experiential understanding that
we are loved by God quite apart from what we do, and we wanted
to continue to grow in our ability to receive love from God in
that way. The sabbath blessed us as individuals, connecting us
with God’s unconditional love, and it enriched our life
as a couple, giving us relaxed and spacious time together.
We decided to observe a sabbath on Sundays, embracing a slower
pace with fewer options on that one day each week. Our first son
had been born in Israel, and soon we had a second son. I remember
those Sundays sabbaths as a young family with great fondness.
After church, we read to the kids, we walked, we talked. We went
to the zoo and the park.
We had to think carefully about what was the work we would avoid
on the sabbath. For me, a part-time student and stay-at-home mom,
work consisted of studying, housework, and shopping. My husband’s
work involved anything from his paid job, as well as house repairs
and mowing the lawn. We simply didn’t do any of those tasks
on Sundays.
As the years passed and our children grew up, our sabbaths changed.
Two things stayed constant: no work and a slower pace.
Stop, Pause, Cease, Desist
In the Ten Commandments, the people of Israel are commanded to keep the sabbath
day holy, or separate, from the other days of the week. The marker of that
holiness is to refrain from working on the sabbath. No one is supposed to
work. “You shall not do any work, neither you, nor your son or daughter,
nor your manservant or maidservant, nor your animals, nor the alien within
your gates” (Exodus 20: 10).
The Old Testament does not give a lot of specifics about what
constitutes work. One of the very few clear commands forbids lighting
a fire (Exodus 35:3). No fires for a day assured that the daughters,
wives, and female servants could not be expected to cook. All
the food had to be cooked before the sabbath began, and the dishes
washed afterwards. The sabbath granted rest to everyone, even
the women who would usually be productive seven days a week.
As we consider sabbath keeping for our time, we women in particular
need to remember our need for rest. The word “sabbath” means
stop, pause, cease, desist. Never did a culture need a sabbath
like we do today. The messages we hear from our culture encourage
us to be productive, to get things done, 24-7. Everything we do
has to look good, to accomplish something. Nothing encourages
us to stop.
Women can easily bring our culture’s values into our attempts
to observe a sabbath. We can turn the sabbath into one more thing
to do perfectly, one more task to achieve. We can plan elaborate
meals and creative Bible studies. We can have high expectations
of the ways our family will cooperate with our sabbath agenda.
The command in Exodus says, “Six days you shall labor and
do all your work.” What constitutes work for women today?
What work do we need to confine to six days each week?
The Sabbath as a Gift
My husband and I received a gift from our commitment not to work on Sundays:
a day to spend with our children – —and later with each other – without
needing to get something else done. A day free of multi-tasking. A day free
of the need to achieve anything. A day to rest in God’s goodness. Over
many years, that gift has continued to bless us and give us freedom in Christ.
We established our sabbath without any of the encouraging books
that people can now read about the sabbath. Those books have wonderful
suggestions, drawing on the Jewish sabbath traditions, for a celebratory
meal after sunset, complete with blessings and candles and special
prayers. Those books suggest many activities for parents and children.
All of those suggestions are good things, but a significant danger
lurks within them. We can so easily forget the core meaning of
the sabbath—stopping and resting—and set up the sabbath
as one more thing to achieve.
In our time, what is the equivalent of lighting a fire? What
are the actions that send us into work mode? Each of us needs
to consider what those actions are, and how to stop them for 24
hours, perhaps by doing them ahead of time, if we want to keep
a sabbath.
For me, turning on my computer, balancing the checkbook, and
weeding in the garden feel like work. Shopping for food, running
errands, doing laundry, and some kinds of cooking also put me
into work mode. I know some people find gardening and cooking
relaxing. Those people will have a different list of “work” activities
to avoid on the sabbath.
Having high expectations for family time also feels like work,
whether we are expecting a perfect meal, a wonderful Bible study
together, or a deeply spiritual experience as we talk. As more
people take on the gift and challenge of sabbath keeping, we need
to keep considering and discussing the simple disciplines that
can help us draw near to God without moving into perfectionism
and a feeling of working hard.
“Simple” is a great word to describe the ideal activities
for the sabbath. We certainly want to experience God’s presence
on the sabbath, but we need to experiment with gentle and unforced
ways to do it. As soon as we are working too hard to achieve anything
on the sabbath, we have violated the central idea of the day.
A short prayer time or Bible reading can be helpful in keeping
the focus of the day on God’s goodness. Being together with
family members or friends in a relaxed way, perhaps playing games,
reading, or eating a celebratory meal, can give a sense of simple
abundance that speaks of God’s grace.
Creative Sabbath Ideas for Women
For many people, being outside on the sabbath—walking, riding bikes,
flying kites, sitting on a bench in a park—helps them feel close to God.
Sabbath time outside can be a time of reflection and prayer alone, a time of
relaxed conversation with a friend, or an exuberant playtime with a group of
family members or friends. A woman who works at a desk job finds that her best
sabbath activities involve vigorous exercise outdoors. Being in nature invites
us to notice God’s care and creativity in the beautiful creation.
Many women benefit from some silent time on their sabbath day.
One single woman spends the afternoon of her sabbath day entirely
alone. She needs a block of quiet time because she works in a
very people intensive job. Often she meets up with friends at
the end of the day for a meal together.
A woman who has young children prepares a “sabbath box” of
special activities for her children. During one hour of Sunday
afternoon, her children know they are expected to play alone,
enjoying the delights in the sabbath box, while their parents
get some silent time.
One single woman I know tries to avoid worry on the sabbath.
She considers herself a “worrier,” and she feels overwhelmed
at the thought of trying not to worry on a daily basis. One day
a week, however, feels manageable to her. A day free – or
at least mostly free – from worrying has been a great gift
to her.
I’m a person who has disliked my body for as long as I
can remember. I try to keep my sabbaths free from self-disgust
about the way I look. On the sabbath I don’t try on clothes,
and I don’t read novels with very slim and beautiful heroines.
When I find myself thinking negative thoughts about myself, I
try to set them aside for the day.
In fact, I try to avoid most negative and stressful thoughts
on the sabbath. When I find myself starting to consider whether
or not we should remodel a part of our home, I try to set it aside.
When I start to think about something I disliked in my childhood,
I try to stop my mind from going there.
In one Jewish tradition, intercessory prayers are not allowed
on the sabbath because they are viewed as too much work. In that
tradition, the appropriate prayers for the sabbath are prayers
of thankfulness. On the sabbath, I spend some energy focusing
my thoughts on the beauty of the world God made and the good gifts
God has given me in the past week. I try to rest in thankfulness.
I don’t try to be “hyper-spiritual” all day
long, but a little thought discipline goes a long way towards
giving me a day that is restful and rejuvenating.
Because I’ve been an enthusiastic sabbath keeper for so
many years, I am delighted that so many Christians are rediscovering
the gift of the sabbath. I long for my Christian sisters to experience
true joy and rest on that day, rest from the striving for perfection
and constant productivity that our culture stimulates in us.
For Further Reading
Lynne M. Baab. Sabbath Keeping: Finding
Freedom in the Rhythms of Rest. Downer’s Grove, Il.:
InterVarsity Press. January, 2005.
Dorothy Bass. Receiving the Day: Christian
Practices for Opening the Gift of Time. San Francisco:
Jossey-Bass, 2000.
Tilden Edwards. Sabbath Time. Nashville:
Upper Room Books, 2003 (revised edition).
Wayne Muller. Sabbath. New York: Bantam
Books, 1999.
Don Postema. Catch Your Breath: God’s
Invitation to Sabbath Rest. Grand Rapids, Mich.: CRC Publications,
1997.
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